The closest I have ever come to believing in a "religion" would have to be over the last 20 years as I learned more about actual theories that stated that there were multiple copies of this world existing at one time. These theories have some basis in modern-day science and mathematics, but I do not pursue the exact details for fear of losing all interest.
After all, a religious belief is almost based on the believer giving into faith, and into the unknown. Also, reading about mathematical theories can be boring as Hell. Now, please do not think that this is some lame attempt at a Matrix-like theory of "alternate reality" because it is not. I thought that the Matrix movies were nothing but a lame set of bloated special effect music videos, and the last thing I would want to portray myself as is a fan of those turds.
Still, I just gotta' go with what I think.
Essentially, while I fixed toast this morning there were countless to the countless power copies of myself making that same breakfast, perhaps only differing by one single atom within one single part of my body, or within somewhere on the world that that copy existed in. Minus all the theorizing that mathmiticians are doing about it, almost every religion talks about the endless mind of God, and how we could never even begin to conceive of his or her size. Wouldn't "countless" "endless" or "unfathomable" allow some room for every possibility, every reality, out there?
While I do not believe in a single mind that drives all the forces of the universe, I do believe that it is very possible that there are countless "realities" that are basically a sharing of atoms within countless shades of the near-same things.
Back in '94, I drew comics like crazy. I never put much effort into them, often just sketching them to ink later, but I knew that even within the disjointed stories there was a single constant: Mother Grin, her son Cueball, and Check.
According to my take on the theories of multiple realities, Grin was one of the only things in all of the copies of everything that had no copy. I was not trying to portray an angel or God, but just a constant force. Not even a force of good as much as a reverse of evil, an opposing energy that sat on the opposite end of the spectrum from the negative. And within all the realities that she traveled through-out, she had one actual son within one actual reality. He shared her capacity for being completely unique, but the laws of the realities of the world he lived in made it so that he got cancer and died.
She had an adopted son, Check, and that son was a copy of me. Basically, he was what I was but within a reality that allowed for super-powers, monsters and visitations from Mother Grin. She taught Check the use of the ordinary energy-stuff that he called the "Mundane" (most of the names of all the characters came from either Check or Cueball) or the Energy of the In-Between.
Essentially, most things in all of the universes live in and experience mostly acts of normalcy, of going to work and getting coffee, of buying a house...of being a common worker bee. Only at the extreme ends of the energy spectrum are the Good and the Bad, the Positive and the Negative. But that is not to say that the "in-between" energies had no power, when in fact they had the most power. All of these common activities within all of these common lives within all these realities created a massive amount of energy. Yes, the energy of the boring!
So, Grin taught Check the use of these energies, and he would often form them in visible checkered patterns, a perfect representation of the exact balance of good and evil that the Perfect Middle-Ground would have use of. He eventually could force these energies into a solid form, (although sometimes invisible) and could will them to do what he wanted, to go where they wanted, to lift things, to form air-tight bubbles, whatever he wanted. He could slice something in half by making a molecule-thin layer of checks and forcing it forward with the speed of a trillionth of a second.
Like many others, I fantasized about a character that was bullet-proof, but with weaknesses. He had to be careful because he might lose track of the Checks when he slept, meaning that he was as vulnerable as he would be without them, and although he could wrap a indestructible layer of Checks around someone he loved to protect them, he had to learn to avoid suffocating them. Although he later learned to control the Checks that were far away from him, he lost many friends because of evil-doers that wanted to get to him somehow.
So, over the years I have had many versions of this character, but essentially every character I have made (unless otherwise stated) has been some copy of this character, of me, that is set within the boundaries of that reality that they live in. Mother Grin visits them all, but still has the softest part of her heart reserved for the deceased Cueball and for Check.
So, I made an approximation of Check during my recent time in Champions. I made a defender back in the City of Heroes days, but Champions has allowed me to really hone in on the true characteristics of Check...his "bubbles" of protection, he ability to force things away from him, and it looks like I might be able to take it further thanks to the awesome character customization.
As I approach level 17, I'm starting to think about what my Nemesis might be like. I knew that like a truly evil person he would not be a smiling, laughing "evil grin" type, but he would be what true evil is like: cold, scary, unknown. I started to mess with a character creator to get some ideas, but then it hit me.
I would make Mother Grin my nemesis!
While she is never really "good," she is the opposite of "evil". So how would I explain her appearing as a "evil" character? I don't know, yet. But that's what I am enjoying, the going-over of these old comic pages from 15 or more years ago, the creation of more stories, the use of my imagination.Some basic facts about Mother Grin:
1) She is between 7-8 ft tall.
2) She weighs around 34,000 tons. (I've always liked that number.) She doesn't really walk around as much as wills her weight from not crushing the floor she walks on. She is very thin, so the weight comes from her density. She is made of such age and experience that it has made her very dense.
3) I always drew her with tiny, shriveled wings on her back. Not Aion-like over-the-top massive wings, but tiny bony useless wings. I have taken them away in more recent years.
4) Everything about her, due to her age, is a shade of gray. She often looks like a plain, but pretty, older woman that wears pretty normal clothes like a gray dress, a pair or pants...something that semi-blends in the world she visits.
We'll see. While it is very possible that the Nemesis system leaves much to be desired for this little chapter of this character's life, we'll see. I don't look things up out of fear of the unknown, especially in a video game. I hope it works out well.I am really enjoying not only the role-play aspect of all of this, but the literal creative effort to make these characters and their stories.
Who knows? Maybe somewhere they are as real as me?