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The Trionicus

Annihilating common sense one blog at a time.

Author: Trionicus

My ineffective Fireball!

Posted by Trionicus Sunday April 29 2012 at 5:35AM
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Guess where this is going? Yep, you probably guessed it, modern spellcasting. How many times in how many games has your single fireball been able to cause any real damage? Personally I can’t destroy anything my own level with any single spell I have. I can roast nubs that run around with no gear, and lowbies, but even then sometimes it takes 2 or 3 fireballs. If they end up using some of their abilities it may take more. I really don’t see the point if my character takes “years” of their life to study the mysteries of the arcane arts when say some random archer / hunter can roll up and do the same damage without having to know a damn thing about magic. The hunter just seem to “magically” have a bunch of magic shots and other types of archers seem to be able to just light their arrow on fire or dip it in holy water and


I’ve never been one to promote realism in gaming but there’s gotta be some logic to it all. If a fireball and an arrow at any level have the same amount of damage capability then something must be wrong with the physics in that world. The question, is there a circumstance where a fireball and a single arrow would perform the same? I think not, unless we’re talking about a meager BBQ grill fireball from naphtha. Why even learn a fireball spell if the casting time and damage potential is the same as shooting a gun or an arrow? Rhetorical really, unless you make the argument that “at least I can’t run out of arrows” but I’ll tell you a secret. A mage will run out of mana long before an archer will run out of arrows.


Depending on what game you play! Yes true, but have you ever fired off a fireball in an MMO setting that blew back and killed its target and debris and his allies? Well, I played an MMO where a warrior could take an axe, spin in a circle a few dozen times, and chase his opponents faster than they could run away, oh AND kill them. In a single player RPG setting mostly all combat skills are equal, even though there aren’t any other players around to force “balance”.


Balance! Boy oh boy and a /sigh. I’m not a fan of balancing skills in a non-logical way. I can accept if a scored hit with a javelin is more damaging than say a scored hit with a dagger. I do think that many strikes with a dagger could equal to the amount of damage dealt with a javelin, but that’s not nearly what Dev’s are thinking. “The amount of time to throw a javelin, and hit, is equal to the amount of time necessary for a dagger wielder to inflict damage equal to that of a javelin.”  More or less how it goes right? And while that may remain true even in real life, the fact remains that you might be able to function with a few dagger shanks, but not with an 8 foot javelin sticking out of your chest. Not saying that this is what should be done BUT! Have these guys seen dragon ball Z? There’s no reason why my casting time is the same as a guy who throws a javelin.


Finally back to my fireball! Is it fireball 1, 2, 4, 14? Really? I go to Hogwarts and they’re naming my most powerful fireball spell, Fireball fucking 14 | PAUSE | HAHAHAHAHAHA. Lead whoever the fuck is in charge of wording spells, I got a spell for you, it’s called YOUR FIRED… 14! Sorry back to the matter at hand. I go to wizard school and learn the mysteries of mysticism or whatever, and I get out, and I’m the weakest spellcaster in the entire lore of the game. Everyone else I read about in the lore can perform crazy feats like conjuring dragons or creating cities while my avatar, the number one dude in MY story, can’t kill 1 dear with my most powerful fireball, nope, gotta cast it TWO times son. Hell, while we’re at it, just for fun, let’s take away any type of possibly useful auto attack or at least, nerf the shit outta it.


You all must know this common joke, it goes, “how many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb” or something close. Well, how many fireballs does it take to kill a warrior? The answer of course is one too many. I haven’t played a game where my spellcaster is even close to the power of any of the stories told by the game itself or any other lore. I’m not sure why there hasn’t been a happy medium found between what’s logical and what’s fun. What I am sure of is that if I blast someone directly in the face with my fireball or drop a lightning bolt on top of someone’s head it should surely take more then 1/16th of their HP.


Basically they might as well scrap magic all together if it’s going to be this pathetic. They really do got us running around like regular fucking Rincewind’s in this bitch.


ADDON!: The casters in Titans quest and Diablo 3 and some other hack n slash games actually do look pretty cool in action. So apparently if my character is 2 inches tall I can have effective spellcasting. writes:
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