Currently I'm suffering from this condition, and perhaps it is a condition of sorts, because it seems like it infects like a disease. But can one really blame me? Perhaps there has been nothing quite infectious as the excitement one can build for ArenaNet's Guild Wars 2. But this excitement is not blind fanboyism or a desperate cry for attention --- no. This enthusiam is the seering hot gyser that has been boiling beneath the earth for several years, only to now rise to the surface with explosive force.
Multiplayer games have not been kind to me, or at least kind to my tastes for many-a-year. The only real MMORPGs that ever appealed to me were Final Fantasy XI and Monster Hunter, and both of those were Japanese in origin and not exactly a big hit in the United States. That alone goes to show that my particular tastes are not quite... well... normal for my hemisphere. For ten years I've been forced to suffer with either playing the same games or painfully endure several other MMOs that I constantly looked back and measured based on the two games I mentioned.
The bar I made for games I played was high, extremely high. So high that I played Final Fantasy XI for nine-years, and to finally retire from it for good in July 2011 thanks to the bitter Abysea1. But nevertheless, I still carried with me that bar in which I must judge everything I play. So far the only game that has finally managed to not only reach the bar, but surpass it, is Guild Wars 2. This has only been assured through the Press Events, BWE #1, and the May Stress Test.
All at once, ten years of pent up ethusiam has suddenly began to speed to the surface until the sheer surge has become too much to ignore. Now the heated pressure to do something productive for the game is beating through my skull, filling every poor in my body, and consuming never ever facet of my physical mind. It becomes difficult to concentrate and think, just knowing that something I've wanted for nearly a decade is lingering just on the horizon like the coming of a long awaited hero. Quickly, fetch the red carpet --- my... I mean... OUR savior is coming!
Now I find myself consumed by sheer enthusiam. To the point that it is a monster in itself, often taking control of me and turning me into something that I have never really been before. It is turning me into something that is much more than a fan --- an absolute fanatical lunatic. My enthusiam is actually starting to frighten people, as I've been considered intense and jarring. To the point where I may even alienate people who are looking forward to the game.
Because of this, my mind has began to twist and tamper reality to the point where Guild Wars 2 is not exactly just a game anymore. It is something I understand that will take up a large portion of my up coming days, and I feel those days already slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. Am I frightened of this, and is my enthusiam merely shrouding me and protecting me from the bitter truth that I may lose a precious portion of my life to a digital reality?
Perhaps. Were I to calm down and think about it, that may be the case. My ethusiam may be a shell in which I choose to hide within, wanting to keep my mind focused on projects and things to do so that I do not let my mind linger about what it is I'm about to potentially miss in my adult life. Ultimately I could choose just to ignore it again, choose to put the games aside and actually go on trying to focus on what it is my life demands of me. But do I really want to?
The struggle within becomes more difficult with each passing day, and as the game grows closer to an ambigous deadline I begin to feel myself even more energized with intense, often uncontrollable needs to keep my mind busy. And not just busy with anything, but busy with game related activities on an epic scale.
Even now I begin to look for ways to start my own Guild, to lay the ground work for many, many pet projects. The only thing that I need right now is one of two things.
- Someone to grab a hold of me and slow me down.
- Someone who matches my intense enthusiam and together we'll combine to create an unstoppable engine of mass production that could likely be tapped to provide an infinity source of clean energy to fuel the entire planet.
Both are very viable acceptable outcomes I look forward to.
Bring it on people. Give me your best shot.
1 You can read more about Abysea in my previous forums posts on MMORPG.com.