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Gaming To Hell In A Handbasket

The trials, tribulations and musings of an MMO veteran trying to find the next holy grail.

Author: Strayfe

252GB or: The Quest for Something Playable

Posted by Strayfe Tuesday August 18 2009 at 6:39PM
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That was the size of my recycle bin after I deleted the myriad of electronic software packages masquerading as "games" on my computer.

Let me back up a bit and say that I'm back.  For those who don't know who I am, I don't either, and as far as I know I'm nobody, so you're not missing anything. 

What I am, however, is a gamer.  I play games.

Lately I install games, sit through the patching process, log in, stare at my monitor in horror, tear my hair out, bash my face against a wall, and then get in my car and drive off the Golden Gate Bridge.  My RL experience penalty is growing unmanageable.

NCSoft seems to be at the core of my efforts at entertainment lately.  I happily pre-ordered Aion for the beta and sat with everyone else while content was trickled out bi-weekly to appease the legions of drooling fanboys oblivious to their THIS-GAME-IS-NOT-WOW-DAMNIT colored glasses.

For how often I see the term WoW-Clone thrown around, I've decided to make suggestions to my local retailers that they put up a sign in their games department denoting the WoW-Clone isle, so I can burn it and dispense with the ashes in a demonic ritual.

Sadly, for the games that don't completely follow the tried and true path of every single western subscription game released in the last ten years (and don't fool yourself, they ARE all the same), I'm left wondering what the hell the developers were thinking.

Case in point.  Lineage 2.

Lineage 2 is my latest effort to go back in time, sifting through the sands of old Triple-A games to see if, perchance, I missed a gold nugget hiding somewhere among the grains of mediocrity.  Lineage 2, unfortunately, is completely and utterly impenetrable and obtuse.

Suffering from Vanguard: SoH syndrome, the world is absolutely huge, and there's not a god damn fucking thing in it.  I frequently have to run for 200 miles through barren wastelands lacking NPCs, mobs, flora, fauna or even an adequate music track to distract me.  It looks as though somebody accidently substituted a textureless developer testing zone for the entire game, plopped down a generic fantasy village every 200 miles, turned up the AA and AF to the max, and sat back waiting for cash to fly in on silver wings and smash them in the face.

I don't know what it is about games that try to go for this "huge, open world" route.  Sure, it's realistic to have giant deserts full of nothing but the decaying bones of travelers, but it doesn't make for a very good game when every single point of interest is situated equidistant from every other point of interest, and separated by a void populated by absolutely nothing or, alternatively, monsters that are way too fucking hard for your level.

Don't even get me started on the UI or the movement difficulties.  I have a range of expletives starting with asshat and ending in zooglefucker (don't ask) for games that can't implement a working WSAD movement system.  I'm not entirely sure if the economy in asia is such that computers come without keyboards, and all games are played with a combination of a mouse and a USB potato peeler, or what the deal is, but good lord is it annoying.

I also have a special place in my cold, black heart for games that inform me that I've been playing too long and that I need to take a break, as if I'm some 17 year old alcoholic crack-addict, fresh out of rehab for doing things he's not legally or otherwise allowed to do yet.  I can police my own gameplay time, thank you very much NCSoft.  Go to hell, and while you're there, sell your soul to Satan for advice on making a game that isn't a repackaged version of WoW with the CRYEngine and wings, or a monument to "hard and pointless" made out of excrement and falafels.

Moving on from so-called triple A titles to games that absolutely and totally suck, but that I at least KNEW would absolutely and totally suck when I downloaded them.

First up on this list is 2Moons.  Let me start off by saying.... ERROR: THIS BLOG HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO CLOSE...




Right... now, like I was trying to ment.... ERROR: THIS BLOG HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO CLOSE...




FUCK YOU 2MOONS! Learn2Code.  I have never had so many problems with a game crashing in my life.  It's worse than Age of Conan, and AoC at least had the excuse that it just released.  2Moons has been out for 2 years, and another 150 years in Asia, and the code (and translation for that matter) is still apparently written in hieroglyphics by a team of cryptologists working without a key.


I seek quality.  In the last two months, I have gone through the following games:

Everquest II, Lineage 2, Warrior Epic, Dofus, La Tale (don't get me started on side scrollers), Rappelz, 2Moons, TwelveSky, Jade Dynasty Online, Rohan Online, Deco Online, Fiesta Online, Flyff, Cabal Online, Exteel, Runes of Magic, Aion Beta.

That's in addition to all the games from before that I no longer play.  All told, I've probably plowed through 50 games in the last year.  Maybe 5-6 were worthy of more than a month's subscription.

Thus far, the only free games that are even decent to me: Perfect World, Atlantica Online, Mabinogi

Subscription games that are decent: FFXI, WoW(yeah, yeah... I'm sick of it though), Warhammer is a bitter pill lately.  My mom always said; "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

In case you're wondering, that explains my long absence.  I shall remain a bitter pill, I think.




MadnessRealm writes:

Nothing else I can do but to Bump! this blog :þ

While I don't agree with all your blogs, this one pretty much represent the bitter feeling I have been experiencing for ages.

I'm about to try Dungeon Fighter and DDO Unlimited once they are released. Dungeon Fighter is definitively one of the few games that I actually enjoy.I don't know about DDO yet.

Tue Aug 18 2009 11:17PM Report
DAOWAce writes:

I must say, this is quite a good blog post I randomly stumbled across. (Oh fine, I clicked on it because it had "252GB" in it)

I'm sure many people can agree with mostly everything said here.  It's hard trying to enjoy MMORPGs when you've been playing them (along with mass amounts of single player RPGs) for over 10 years. /sigh

@Madness: DFO is quite a gem, tribute to the oldschool arcade beat 'em ups.  I am oddly attracted to it.  As for DDO; I beta'd it before the game itself was released and now again for the free version.  Nothing's changed in the short time I spent with it, I still don't enjoy it.

Wed Aug 19 2009 12:56AM Report
miagisan writes:

maybe cause most of the games you played are crap f2p mmorpgs? maybe that tells you something.......

Wed Aug 19 2009 5:16AM Report
MadnessRealm writes:

@ DAOWAce yes I am aware of DFO. I have played both the Chinese and Japanese version and also entered the NA Closed Beta so I know that I love DFO. Only problem is that there is no OBT date yet (after 2 weeks the CBT ended)

Wed Aug 19 2009 9:19AM Report
InvaderGUI writes:

I totally agree with everything said. I too have played just about every MMO F2P or not. And most are just WoW with a differant theme to it.

Thu Aug 20 2009 2:39AM Report writes:
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