Fanboys scatter in all directions, hooting, hollaring and galumphing like a cavalcade of circus elephants, prodded along by circus clowns with sharp objects.
Strayfe is not nice. Me no pull punches, me no kiss ass, oh community whose eyes are tainted by glasses of a rose color.
Let's face it. Let's call a spade a spade. Let's take things for what they are, shall we?
Darkfall Online is inarguably the worst MMO launch in the history of gaming.
I am sorry, Aventurine. You do -not- call yourself a business, set a release date, and then release a game that wouldn't pass for an in-house Alpha test, much less a final release version.
... and then charge people to play it.
... and then, inexplicably, refuse to allow more than a hundred people to buy your Alpha per day, because your server cluster is an IBM ThinkPad which communicates with the rest of the world via smoke signals blown by a $4.99 desktop fan.
... and then ban people from your forums for pointing out that your game is an Alpha, running on an IBM ThinkPad which communicates with the rest of the world via smoke signals blown by a $4.99 desktop fan.
... and then shut down the forums entirely because your website runs off of a Texas Instruments graphing calculator, which communicates with the rest of the world via smoke signals blown by an old grandma with emphysema.
... and then leave your public relations to a guy with all the charisma and half the common sense of a table leg... who, incidentally, communicates with the rest of the world via lies, bullshit, and grunting noises which roughly translate to "money... GIMME... moneymoneygimmemoney"...
Nevertheless, despite the endless, ENDLESS problems with the release, humanity has disproven natural selection once again by offering up a set of people who seem to be willing to ignore the vast amount of issues inherent in Aventurine and the game itself. These people continue to trumpet the virtues of Darkfall, determinedly ignoring all of the symptoms of failure, which have done everything but steal their lunch money and bang their mothers.
I am going to pause now for all the brilliant individuals to offer up their own versions of, "GAHUHHH STRAYFE I BET U HAVENT PLAYED THE GAME YET... U CANT SAY NUTHIN HAW HAW HOOGABOOGA"
Right then. I have not played the game, yet. Let me tell you something, however, which should be pretty obvious to anyone with brains consisting of anything other than dark matter. Darkfall Online could be the greatest game ever released. It could do my dishes for me, single-handedly improve my sex life, spew billions of dollars out of my CD-RW drive, and make me as famous as Paris Hilton, Barack Obama and the guy from Frazier mixed together in a blender and ground out into a fine fame-paste for mass consumption.
There's just one tiny little problem.
AVENTURINE WILL NOT LET ME BUY THEIR FUCKING GAME.
All of you who are in the game, bravely taking it in the tailpipe while Aventurine brings the servers down every 30 seconds for "maintenance"? The joke is on you guys.
I will admit that I was once interested in Darkfall Online. The features presented were new, innovative, and I am always ready for full loot pvp that's not based in space. I am still interested in the game itself, but for one minor detail. Aventurine.
Aventurine is no business. It's a loose conglomeration of halfwit Jezebels, randomly compiled from the bowels of business college dropouts, and collected in one place for an experiment in just how god-awful a game could be run and still garner interest.
Intelligent gamers... just say no to Aventurine. MMO companies need to pay the price for their follies, mistakes, and unmitigated disasters.