Gaming To Hell In A Handbasket

The trials, tribulations and musings of an MMO veteran trying to find the next holy grail.

Author: Strayfe

Now everyone who's afk throw your hands in the air;

Don't matter if you're there, 'cause you're a bot and we don't care;

We're busy in the corner bannin' someone who said fuck;

Ya got a real problem? Sonny boy you're outta luck;

Verse One:

Respect a GM, in the AM or the PM, carpe diem player, break the rules you're gonna need a bayer;

Hold up, wait a second... that ain't the way it is, break the rules in this biz - you get away with it;

G to the M, I'm the master of the game - unless you cuss in general chat you'll never see my name;

Ya'll can flood like the nile, sell gold in heaps and piles, even hack up all our files, we'll let ya do all that;

Second you say bitch or twat, TEMP BAN!, your account go SPLAT!;

Cater to the bible thumpin' pansy lovin' crowd, don't like our effin' game? You can get your ass out now;

Verse Two:

Hey yo , hey yo...

Homeboys n' homegirls betta get in the know, the reason I'm a GM?  'Cause I got fired from a cop show;

My name is Game Masta G, been a Masta since the game was new, I got beef wit you I'll ban you for just being you;

I'm a nanny, spam me, I'll let ya cry like a newborn infant sittin' in a raid instance, whining 'cause your loot was ninja'ed;

I'm the devil in the details, detailed in the devil's silence writing patch notes like recount votes committin' random acts of violence on the player base;

Now make your case chump, ya know that I won't listen; I'm Game Masta G, my shit don't stink it fuckin' glistens.

Now everyone who's afk throw your hands in the air;

Verse Three

V3 - My team of GM's dog you all incessantly, I'm Senior GM Reggie, you kids'll be the death of me;

When my GM team got problems with the children they all come to me; I don't need approval I'll ban your stupid ass for free;

Temporary you ask? Why bother, you're out for good this time; Your ass was out of line when you said "Poo-poo butt" last night;  I do not give a damn that you pay $14.99; "Stinky pants" you said? I should really call the FBI;

This sort of vulgar speech does not belong in this fun game; Never mind that cheater or that bot, the cuss words are the ones to blame;

Verse Four

Oochi walla walla, googoo gaga I'm the game dev; Can't tell what I'm sayin' 'cause I'm speakin' like a cave man;

Gonna tell you all a secret; let you in on the game plan; Game's dead, we take your money and just play dead; Release a mob or two every 27th weekend, scream "New Content!" and laugh while you eat it all up like sweet bread;

I hired the GMs to handle issues and the bugs, not knowin their job would be givin' thin skinned people hugs; But we need your money, and the money grubbers got it in the bag; Excuse me,  brb, bannin' someone who said "fag". 

Now everyone who's afk throw your hands in the air;