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Rollo talks games. (And Pie)

Just another gamer pretending to know what he's talking about.

Author: Rollotamasi

AoC, The Hooters of MMO’s.

Posted by Rollotamasi Tuesday May 27 2008 at 8:26AM
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There I was.  Standing in line at EB Games with a AoC box in hand.  While I generally don’t buy a game without a trial or demo I figured I would give it a shot if for nothing else then to remind me why I don’t buy games without a trial or a demo.  I hand the guy behind the counter the box and he says.  “Dude, This game kicks ass”.   I was starting to get a bit excited.  You can read all the reviews on the net that you like but nothing beats talking to a real live player of a game.  So of course I have to ask “Really?  What makes it so good?”

 

“Dude, You can actually SEE boobs!  Nipples and everything.  And  when you get a fatality blood sprays EVERYWHERE!!”.  That was it.  I couldn’t go through with it.  I told the guy I didn’t want the game.   I had what my friends refer to Hooterphobia.  What is Hooterphobia?  Well, it’s the fear of Hooters.

 

Not Hooters as in boobies, Hooters as in the restaurant.  I can’t eat there.  Most of my friends make fun of me for it.  Allow me to pose a question.  If there were no waitress’s walking around with tight orange shirts and their boobs hanging out would you still eat there?  Most people are going to say no.  But then there is wings guy.  That guy that says “I go to hooters for the wings!”.  Shut up.  No you don’t.  You go to hooters for the TnA just like everyone else.  The food is overpriced and mediocre at BEST. 

 

Why can’t I go there?  Because it makes me feel like “That guy”.  Its kind of hard to explain.  It just makes me feel dirty.  Don’t get me wrong here.  I am a guy and like most guys I like boobs, butts and legs.  But for some reason I can’t go to hooters where those things are in abundance.  I feel like all the waitress’s are looking at me thinking “Just another dumbass guy coming to gawk at the TnA”.  Because when you strip away the TnA your left with crappy overpriced food and frankly there are plenty of restaurants in town where I can get a burger and a beer and generally have it served to me by a fairly attractive bar tender.  Difference is I can carry on a conversation with her without feeling like “That guy”

 

How does this relate to AoC?  AoC is hooters.  Strip away the TnA and excessive violence and its just another fantasy MMO.  Open PvP is reduced to getting ganked at spawn points.  The huge world is reduced to tons of instances.  Sure, the graphics look great but much like hooters it takes more then flash to make a game good.  Bottom line here is that the 3 main selling points of this game don’t make a game good. 

 

Great graphics – Check.  This is like dating a REALLY hot stripper that has a IQ of 13  Sure, its fun for a few weeks but after a while looking at her is going to get old and you going to realize there’s not a whole lot underneath.

TnA – Check.  Has NO impact of gameplay.  Strip it away and the only thing that would change would be that you would probably have ½ the population of kiddies.

 

Open PvP – Check.  To bad it’s reduced to ganking people at zones and spawn points.  The same thing that people bitch about playing online shooters,  Yeah, yeah I know.  Roll PvE, carebear, blah blah blah.

 

Bottom line is that this game does everything it says it does.  Has plenty of violence, TnA, pretty graphics and open PvP.  The problem is, does that make it fun?  Honestly, TnA and open PvP seems like the type of environment where you could manufacture jerks by the thousands.  That reminds me, How is the community?

Kadozerrr writes:

This is a mans game, please don't play it you strange little child.

Tue May 27 2008 8:38AM Report
Rollotamasi writes:

"This is a mans game, please don't play it you strange little child.:"

 

Yes, because we all know that boobies and blood make things "Manly"...

Tue May 27 2008 8:44AM Report
Taroko writes:

I think what Kadozerr means is this is a game for a man without a life.

Tue May 27 2008 9:00AM Report
mxmissile writes:

"I think what Kadozerr means is this is a game for a man without a life."

+1

Tue May 27 2008 9:11AM Report
Takingtheday writes:

I'm pretty sure Kadozerr just answered your question about how the community is.* Great read by the way.

*This is a generalized statement and does not include the AoC community as a whole. Just probably 3/4s of it.

Tue May 27 2008 10:39AM Report
samuraislyr writes:

Well... I'm having fun with the game and on my server Dagoth which is a PvE server, the community seems mostly mature... better then my experience in WoW. It's definitly a little less mature in the Tortage area but after that most people are pretty mature.

The whole boobs and blood thing....honestly I barely see people walking around naked and if you have ever read the Conan stories.. the fact they added boobs and blood makes a lot of sense... the were considering going even farther... nude picture of Kira (Think that's her name) comes to mind. They stopped though at what they did and it's fun... matches the books pretty well and such.

My only real complaint is the bugged content.... there is a lot. Far too much for my liking but I'm going to give it the week and play some alts to see what other classes I like besides my ranger and then maybe it will be fixed... I hope it is because I'm liking the game just not the bugs.

Tue May 27 2008 10:57AM Report
ulfr writes:

"This is a mans game, please don't play it you strange little child."

I love how the first response is all hurt and dejected cause you hit the nail on the head. It's like you deflated his game just like his massive ego!

Good post.

 

Tue May 27 2008 11:02AM Report
dterry writes:

I can't speak for the other Hooter's restaurants but the one in San Diego actually did have good food back around 2000. Great place to watch MNF and it didn't seem terribly overpriced (but maybe everything in SD is). And I don't really care for their uniforms, the shorts look ridiculous. Hell, you see more scantily dressed women at your average bar nowadays then the Hooter's uniform anyway.  As for AoC "The man's game"... is there really anything traditionally "manly" about PC gaming? Are'nt we all supposed to be outside lifting something heavy while covered in dirt to be "manly"? AoC doesn't look all that much worse than any other PC game out there today, but then again-I haven't really had much interest in it.

Tue May 27 2008 12:23PM Report
Fraxture writes:

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. If you want Porn just surf for it, I don't need it and some pimple faced kid whose last date was Rosey Palm dancing over my corpse as he ganks me while I was loading in. Now for all you loosers finding carnal satisfaction in AoC, I am going to go see my wife. :D

Tue May 27 2008 12:41PM Report
horseraddishinfinity writes:

After the first week of the game I can count the number of player character's iv seen running topless on one hand. The fact that you can see boobs doesnt mean that it will overwhelm your screen. As for the blood, the only thing i like about the blood splattering is that it usually means I am doing a fatality, and the only reason I like fatalities is the instant kill, so i take less damage and get to back to playing sooner. I really don't believe the majority of players entered the game for the boobs and blood, it just happens to be there.

Tue May 27 2008 1:48PM Report
Kedrick7 writes:

I too play on a PvE server, and have been enjoying the game greatly.  I have run into one person so far bouncing all around with no top on and on a completely superficial level I thought 'wow, nice detail on the boobs' but beyond that it holds no interest.  There is a nice little option that allows the turning off of "Mature" details, and it has no impact on the enjoyment of the game.

I am glad I can honestly say that I have seen very few 'nudie noobs' which is a refreshing surprise from what I expected of the average MMOer crowd.

Tue May 27 2008 1:57PM Report
angrylama15 writes:

For each his own, i like boobies, blood, and good graphics, interesting post though.

PS-gay marriage legal in CA

Tue May 27 2008 2:46PM Report
NeeAnderTall writes:

Thanks for the warning....I'd hate to have to run my kids off every minute every time a nice pair of Hooters float past my monitor. For all the complaining though, I hope to discover the Hyborian world FunCom devised. Albeit it would never truely match my vision that was heavily influenced by my favored Marvel Comic artists John Buscema and Alfredo Alcala.

I truly hope each and every one of you find what you were looking for, human nature at it's most barbaric. Crom would rather send you your doom than hear your crys for mercy to save you from the Ganker that vexes thee.

Tue May 27 2008 3:20PM Report
Ascension08 writes:

Interesting analogy. I hadn't thought of it that way (I mean Hooters does have good food...but there's places that are just as good that are cheaper). The game seems buggy (though I know all new games are), boring past level 50'ish, and tons of exploits and whatnot...we need to see how it is 6 months from now.

And to angrylama15 - not for long.

Tue May 27 2008 4:32PM Report
Japan8789 writes:

i ran to make an account to quickly respond to this post because I was oh so moved.

The thing is Rollotamasi, when you got on that line with game in hand, did you know there were  flashy breasts? No. You were holding that game in hand not because of flashy breasts but because you imagined it to have been a great game, thus asking the guy behind the counter why he thought the game to be great. Now, the guy behind the counter may have bought the game for grade A  fake animated breasts but you did not choose to buy that game because of it.

Neither did I. Neither did (Probably) many other people who had purchased the game for the first time or on a whim. If you had a valid reason for buying the game, then buy the game. It might actually be really good with breasts or without. It might be the best experience of your life  and might even compare to that triple orgasm you had in college.

The breasts animation can be turned off .. in case any parent or any breast-a-phobic people were wondering.

I personally enjoy the game. Every community of gamers has their pervs/gankers/flamers/fanboys. I enjoy playing the game w/ my friends and the people Ive met so far. I enjoy ganking and getting ganked.

PS. Hooters does suck.   

Wed May 28 2008 6:01PM Report
Ujirik writes:

So, you didn't buy the game, didn't play the game, and now you're giving us a review? lol

Wed May 28 2008 11:09PM Report
Rollotamasi writes:

I said nothing about a review.  Everything I said about the game its self are pretty widely known facts.

Thu May 29 2008 7:25AM Report
Leoheart writes:

the game sucked players sucked only GOOD thing about the game was the boobs and the blood, and like the guy said above if you wanna see boobs watch porn as for blood play gears of war 2 and yes hooters does suck. std heaven

Sat Nov 22 2008 10:24PM Report

MMORPG.com writes:
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