Thoughts on the top of the world

Join me in a pilgrimage back into the time, where MMORPGs weren't yet tainted by the sloppy game designer know as "The Monkey".

Author: Mortemia

 Hey folks!

Been busy while trying to collect some quality ideas out of this head of mine, so that I can share them with you. I’ll tell you, it’s a mess up there. It’s like visiting my grandma’s attic, there’s all kinds of junk everywhere and visibility is down to zero due to dust and only one small window.

“No don’t touch that sh*t, I think it’s my grandpa’s booby trap to keep us kids out from the attic.”

I’ve decided to give myself and my blog a chance. I’ve started taking this tiny notebook and even tinier pen with me when I go out with my dog or do some shopping. It’s already full with random ramblings about various game related thoughts, some written in Finnish, some in English and some even in a language I can’t yet understand. Too bad someone already managed to sabotage my work and drew a small, rather girly looking cow over some of my most crucial thoughts.

So, I wanted to talk more about this Alpha- and Beta testing amongst games, which has turned out to be quite popular recently. No matter what you do or where you go, there are flashy banners everywhere looking for slaves. “Welcome to our online dictionary, want to participate in our beta?” WHAT?!

I don’t know whether it’s a marketing gimmick or the honest thought of just getting more help in delivering us the much debated “Polished Gem” – but the ideology is starting to spread outside the gaming community.

As soon as a company publicly announces they’ve been secretly working on this new epic MMORPG game, they open the website, forums and possibly Alpha-, at least Beta signups. Is the Beta signups a new trick to count how many of us are possibly interested in this new game? I suspect something like this is going on – and why not. It surely motivates more when you know someone’s actually interested in what you do.

What sometimes amazes me, is how some companies put out their beta keys on a golden pedestal, like it’s something really rare and unique. The once quite easy and working solution to fill up the Beta ranks was to check out the user’s DXdiag-file and his computer’s stats. If he has something else than hamsters under the hood, throw his name in the hat. If not, then it’s by-bye. Then pick X-amount of names out of the hat and your done. That’s how I remember it once was. Right now I’m seeing all kinds of silly competitions running on few sites – I even once participated in one of these things for a rather well known, upcoming MMORPG.

 (Heck, I’m an anxious Alpha- and Beta tester. It’s one my top ranked hobbies. See how THIS particular game has solved some of the issues that infested the earlier games, give them ideas how to fine tune things working smoothly from a gamer’s perspective and so on. Participate in Beta and do it the RIGHT way. That’s the moment when most of the MMORPGs have a lovely community. Everyone’s trying to kill the bugs and racing around the map, finding glitches etc. We are all one family. – Then the illusion breaks, it’s the launch day and the kids who can barely type their name swarm in… )

Well, I’m glad I didn’t have to humiliate myself in public or anything like that for the competition, but I won a spot for testing! I’d get my key in email, once I printed out this affidavit, fill it with all my personal information, take it to a notary so that he can confirm the information valid, pay him 40EUR from that, then send the letter to US and wait for a week or so. “Oh man, I can’t remember if they asked for a urine sample too. It just seems like a lot of stuff to do when I’ve already promised to work them for free.” Because that’s what it is right? I show them that I’ve got an adequate computer to tackle the game requirements and then I’ll work for them. Of course I’m not getting paid and they hours are pretty free – you don’t even have to do anything if you change your mind for some reason. I’m glad I was able to “just” scan my driver’s license instead of the notary rumble, when I told them how much it would suck to win something, then pay for it.

Along with bug-hunting and fixing the game mechanics, we Beta testers provide much real and valuable data to tweak the engine. The game designer – or The Monkey (if you will) gets tons of detailed information from our most common computer setups, some high- and low end setups and some that even threaten the laws of physics. It’s a good way to collect valid data from the real end users, not something you’d do with stock computers in a controlled environment.

I guess the problem today is, that major companies are swarmed with Beta signups and they can make us do some weird stunts in order to get the key. People are so thrilled to get a sneak-peak out of the game and “review” it like a final product.

Meanwhile the smaller companies can only afford in some flashy, epileptic seizures causing web-animations, yet another “The most popular online MMORPG” –sentence here and there, perhaps spam a little and even beg someone to steer in their website and download the Beta-client. Once the victim is reeled in, we give him the option to “Sign up now, only 25$ a month and we even let you download this 10Gb client faster than 35kb/s!”.

Damn Monkeys and their tricks.

This one looks kinda cunning, stay away from him.

Cheers!

-Mortemia-

I’ve been an MMORPG-addict for quite some time now, but for some reason something has driven me to this uncomfortable MMORPG-free episode in my life. I suddenly realize I have more times in my hands than I have use. It feels weird when I have nothing to fill that gap with. I know some smart ass thinks now “Go out you fking nerd and see the world!” but the truth is I do have real life too. Got even couple friends, a lovely girlfriend and a brain dead dog who all keep me busy equally. Occasionally I even have school and work stuff to do.

But, yeah back to the subject. My prime gaming time is on the evening after I’ve walked the dog and said “G’night” to missus. After that I usually trenched deep into other realms with my headphones tightly glued to my ears. The good old times…

Lately the past MMORPG releases have pure junk. Don’t get me wrong now, I’m writing this strictly from my own personal perspective. I know there are worthy MMORPGs popping out every now and then, some of them may have one neat, new and “revolutionary” feature but the rest of the game is still same old shit. And in worst case it’s even something worse than the same old shit. Seems like the gaming companies are watering down their games drastically - like we gamers just all came up with sudden strike of Down syndrome. Oh God, am I soon forced to try a… A single player game?

I personally am so fed up with the never changing Human, Elf, Dwarf –setting. It’s just so old. And the few brave game developers who want to step out of this mold, replace those races with dogs, cows and wolves. I mean, come on! Give us something new, show us you still have imagination. Tabula Rasa tried to create new races, too bad I didn’t stick around long enough to find out if the difference was more than cosmetic. Vanguard had these funny, dumb looking animal races. Don’t even remember their names anymore, but the point is: they just stuck an animal head into human body. The characters even moved like humans. It’s like they don’t even want to see any effort and try to cut corners in stupid ways. At first I thought the cat-like Kurashawhatever felt likea cool addition, but after gaining a few levels it just felt so awkward I had to reroll a human.

(I learned to accept cat race since EQ2 had them and I didn’t want to deny a great game from myself because of that. Though, after seeing the rat race I was pretty sure SOE will add a turtle class next and then the servers are swarming with TMNT’s Leonardos and Splinters. I promised myself I’d quit after that. Eventually overdosing the game made me quit.)

And where’s the originality in games? Who the hell hired The Monkey who designs the armors or dyes them? In most of the MMORPGs I’ve crawled through, you have really trouble finding an armor set that makes you look different than the rest 50 guys standing next to you in Auction House. “Yeah we all use it because the stats are great!”. Well damn, can’t you just throw few extra bananas to the monkey and say “We want 3 more designs of this G8 EPIX pWnishr Rmor”? Oh and while you at it, please make sure that the monkey isn’t color blind. I hate it when my stalker-cloak is pink. It kinda breaks the immersion. *CoughLOTROcough*

I remember Dungeons & Dragons Online had few very great looking, unique armors. Mages had weird glowing potions hanging in their belts, scrolls busting out of pockets and Rangers had backpacks with climbing rope hanging out of it and stuff like that. Oh, and so did Tabula Rasa. They had very nice looking high tech armors and It’s the first game I remember where female players wore body armors equally with guys. Not just thongs and bikinis like in so many other games.  Someone should award them from trying to make something new and very cool. I’m not going to analyze either one of the games here completely, I don’t want to piss of any of fans. I come in peace. 

I just think while growing with heart full of Neverwinter Nights, the DnD ruleset is still the best. When you are used to have tons of various kinds of skills and spells in your game, with all neat effects and animations it’s hard to accept the current MMORPG setting where you are handed a fistful of skills/spells and the rest of the game you just update the skills/spells with better ranks. And in few cases the same animations are used over and over again while casting the rest of your spells. Once again it only feels like lazy designing.

Ok, now some of you are thinking “Hey come on man, they are on a tight schedule, they need to focus on delivering working game mechanics, then tweak the animations and stuffs.” Well why are they on a tight schedule? “Because of the money man, creating a game drains capital so fast that you can’t even imagine it!” Well can’t they just raise a bit more capital before pushing this halfway done pile of poop to the market?

I’m just soooo full of playing these bugged, non playable games the companies are offering to us. I went through Vanguard’s, Age of Conan’s, Tabula Rasa’s and Darkfall’s (and so on) launch. I think they should give some sort of medal from that or perhaps knight me, so the people of this fair land may start calling me Sire. Maybe I should even start introducing myself as a “Launch Veteran!” I think it might even give me a few pity-points in my Curriculum Vitae. My potential boss would immediately know that I’ve got a long fuse and I’m not afraid to sacrifice myself for the greater good.

So how do we get the gaming companies to realize we deserve more? We aren’t just brainless puppies who settle on (is the most used term?) cookie cutter games, where you first promise us a list of features in our game and once we’ve bought your shit, the whole back description is like from another game that I’m actually playing.

My fellows, I’m offering you a solution. Some of these are not easy to do, some might even sound outrageous: 

•  Stop buying that shit like a good sheep you are! Pretty soon they’ll learn we actually deserve more.

•  Do not pre order since the Hype just caught you. In most cases the videos you see from “the game under development” are very different from the actual product you are getting.

• Do not believe in ALL pre-reviews from a game that’s almost ready to launch. You don’t think the gaming companies are afraid to bribe journalists? If I were making a shitty game, I’d sure give a good review from it in every gaming- and betaleak forum I can imagine. So many are so easily fooled.

• Maybe even do the leap of faith. If you come up with a good game concept, don’t be afraid of starting to put your thoughts on paper and so on. We are currently on a stall here and the MMORPG-scene desperately needs new blood and fresh ideas. I’ll give you an example:

 Infinity Quest for Earth.

• This is game is done by some independent group who currently are open for player submitted content (Someone correct me if I’m wrong here). According to what I’ve seen on videos and on forums, this game is full of fresh thinking, new ideas and pretty impressive space stuff. But once again, don’t let the Hype get you.

• Know your own value. I know some of you guys play a game just because your friend does. Don’t touch that shit even if Timmy is so dumb! You are not forced to play with him and feed the crippled game.
  

•  If you close your subscription, give feedback when asked. I know it feels like a drag when just got enough of the game, threw the DVDs out of the window and uninstalled to game. If no-one gives feedback, they’ll NEVER know why you guys left and what’s wrong with the game. With good luck, they’ll just redo the same mistakes in sequel, if no one points them out.

• When you are given the opportunity to participate in Alpha or Beta, don’t think it as a test drive. Most people forget it’s not the finished product and actually start “playing” the game, when instead you should be writing down bug reports etc. Yeah, I know… “Let those fools do the bug hunting.” This is the part where you blindly accept the idea of “Ok, I’m buying this game and then I'm bitching like a mofo when there’s still bugs in the launched product.”

• Maybe even write a game review yourself too. A lot of folks are giving their honest opinions of games here on this site, and there’s never too many reviews available. Don’t go the usual “This game is so much better than before, you should join back in!!” –way. It has no effect on anything. In most cases this is might even be understood quite the opposite, like “Oh shit, this game is dying, I wish someone would join here to play with me. Why did I waste my time in this?” Try to explain yourself like a human being you are and be honest.

Who here has resubscribed to a game that wasn’t actually the polished gem like those guys told it would be? Yeah I feel your pain man. Once again we paid some more to The Monkey, from the same shitty game it once fooled us to buy.

• If you come up with a great idea how to make your favorite MMORPG even better, be sure to point your thoughts into right direction. Cussing in Ventrilo won’t probably reach the right pair of ears unless your chatting with a GM.

Damn, I’ve ran out of beer. Time to wipe the spit out of my monitor and calm down. Oh, and don’t mind the typos or bad English, obviously my new interpreter was sleeping on her first day or she had a timezone issue, hence I was forced to pour my thoughts here with the force of Sake.

Remember, do not submit under the force of The Monkey. (Even though I made it look kinda cute)

Cheers!

-Mortemia-