I consider myself lucky. I am a female player with a female character, in a top MUD that is both roleplay and pvp intensive. I am invited to join in on what are considered scholarly pursuits, leadership roles and combat forays. The fact that my character has a bust size is irrelevant to her achievements. This is not the case for everyone.
Many people play games that are graphically rendered, and in this day and age they are visually beautiful. The choices for our character creation are invariably sex, race, perhaps height, skin colour, eye colour and body type.
It is a sad but predominant trend in many that the women are scantily clad, with visually rendered armour that really isn't going to help against much, and grace the back ends of our parties with supporting roles as the buxom healer or the demure priestess. These are roles that many find ourselves shoe-horned into. This can be especially so in the more classically designed, protagonist driven games, where a woman tends to plays second to the leading man.
But we don't all want to be wives and daughters. Simpering characters that need a man to look out for her are awfully stereotyped and don't really cater to the competent female who wants to lead. A woman who wants not just a family for herself but to be the provider and defender also, whilst not having to sacrifice her identity as a woman to do so.
For this I suggest you try a text game, a MUD, perhaps one of the top MUDs offered by the Iron Realms Entertainment group. Your class abilities have no base on your sex, your description is as buxom and curvy and your skin as visible as you want it to be. If you want to be a top combatant, the only limitations are your choices, and no woman is less that if she chooses to bloodline children or teach novices. The healing skills of a priest in Achaea, for instance, are paired up with the formidable powers of the summonable angel, accompanied by a spiritual mace and the Inquisition. A priest is no longer simply a support class, but a frightening opponent whether male or female.
The growth of your character has as much to do with his or her sex as it does hair length (not a great deal). Competency, hard work, proof and ability are what will get you that House, City, or Order leadership position. What you look like is irrelevant to the accomplishments of your text persona.
If you've ever been relegated to the "woman's work" of healing, or left behind on a combat foray because a youth needed teaching in your graphical games, make a change, stand up and be the accomplished person you want to be. In a text game no one can see the bosom bounce and you bleed just the same as the men. The loss of the graphical representation is actually a freeing thing and a step forwards in mentality rather than a step back in development.
Of course, this works twofold. If you want to play a pacifist male, or play perhaps a homosexual character, this is allowed--nay, encouraged. Not all male characters are buffed up combatants, many are religious figures, or scholars. There are no expected roles in Achaea for males or females. One does what one wants, the consequences are yours to deal with.
So, if you've ever been frustrated by the bra and panties options for your fledgeling femme, or if the role of the buffed up, masculine knight is just not your bag, why not give one of the MUDs from Iron Realms a try? Your characters looks, clothing, mannerisms, and even voice are all up to you.