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Enetheru's Poem and Story Blog

A selection of any poems and stories I think up. I am just starting out, and have close to no experience writing poems or short stories. This is for other users to comment on anything I write, so I can learn from the criticism you give me so I improve

Author: Enetheru

Poem: Hobbit and Rabbit.

Posted by Enetheru Tuesday March 31 2009 at 5:28AM
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This is a short poem I came up with while mucking around with a sketch book.  It is about a hobbit trying to kill a rabbit for food; which does not turn out as he would like.

 

One Hobbit,
Was small and fat.
Our rabbit,
Which quietly sat.

Hobbit looking quite grand,
With a knife in one hand.
Our rabbit decides to stand,
Believing he tastes quite bland.

The hobbit thrusts and misses,
And rabbit runs home to missus.
Once a knife he could trust,
but sadly was made of rust.

As the hobbit walks home,
On another hungry night,
Our Rabbit settle’s under a stone
After another tough fight.

 

PS: This is just about my first real poem I have attempted to write.  So I will appreciate any positive and negative feedback on it.  Feel free to tell me what you like about it, and dislike about it.  I am posting these to help me improve my writing skills.


 

EbonHawk writes:

Quite charming my friend.  Although I'm not one to critique, as I couldn't write a poem if my life depending on it.

So I say keep on keeping on...

Tue Mar 31 2009 6:22AM Report
Dynasties writes:

I've wrote a few poems before and personally I think yours is really good. Keep it up.

Thu Apr 02 2009 11:18AM Report

MMORPG.com writes:
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