So I was able to perform the inhuman effort of using my hands and not my ear while extremely drunk with more single player massive online games and I ll try to remember just what the hell was I playing and werent hallucinations...
The order be not chronological,hell I ask meself if it even be real!
ºCRazy Tao:
Okeys,first rule:
Don t drink speed Vodka and smoke those smelly stick things for ambiance.
Crazy tao felt like being hit in the head while playing the avatar game for PC and smoking a joint ,the resulting further muddling of sense made it be seen like some sort of freakish bastard son of Twinsen's Odissey and a lot of dancing chinese spirit doggie thingies chanting TWELVE MONKEYS TWELVE MONKEYS ARE COMING FOR YOU MR MONKEY!!!! till you go insanse and beyond...
I think I tried this game cuz a lassie at a metal head bar told me she playeds its,so far I stick ta drinking spirits with her phisically as rice ale online in this gamey with children pc's and scary big headed chinese puppers be too much fer me psyche!
ºPhoenix DYNASTY : (NO tengo nombreeee eeeeh!)
Me days of Tang juice and helbreath be long over...
That being said,though not bein able ta choose less pretty bishounen characters bugged mes,the phoenix flying dude pet talking entity thingie was quite the good sport and a gentleman/beast/legend at it s very best!
I won t play it but mr fire bird dude thing...YO TE BANCO!
ºFIESTA :
It s name suggests grog and spirits,it s more of a mushroom festival...
Why do you think everything,I mean EVERY GOD DAMN FRIGGIN THING be molded after *mushrooms*?
mushroom houses,happy greeting mushroom enemies,mushroom sprouts.
I took the liberty of investigating it's origins and interviewed the main lead behind this MMO project,turns out he is a long lost blood relative of Charles duchassois who grew up watching the smurfs and really digged the Dragon ball digest booklets in his pre adolescence,so that kind of confirmed my conclusion.
The latter being better explained by the dozen of legion of words branding power of an image!
ºMANGA FIGHTER:
This game is the perfect reason as to why you should not drink ginger rum after experimenting a sugar rush while playing with your megaman action figures in a set made with Lego blocks and pretending your teddy bear is a tauren chieftain...
ºFERNET DAWN-THE SPIRIT OF FERNET:
Now,this is undeniably, THE BESTEST GAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!
A single player campaign needs to be completed first as a form of intro to unlock multiplayer mode.
In the former,you play the role of my metal head guitar sporting friend fernetico.
After finding a dying drunkard in a crashlanded alien ship he is given a sip of Branca and is transported and recruited by the guardians of Ferdinand,an intergalactic assortments of old potbellied gnomes that give him a lamp made with an old magical bottle of black fernet.
By reciting the fernet oath every night Fernetico recharges his small bottle to allow him perform any activity his drunken and ecloded will power would like to try and most probably end up doing the exact opposite.
Once you fibish an epic battle against public administration nebula and the Alcoholics anonymous Corps (led by former fernet lantern Sobriestro) multiplayer mode be unlockeds!
Now you can create your very own character,choose how he looks and see how he transforms as you progress throughout the gamne and according to your path of abilities gets more and more wasted or pussified by lack of addictions.
There are no classes,though the existing organizations favor certain choice/assortment of dependencies called "Paths of reventarsation":
I shall illustrate this skil trees and relation to factions:
º LORE OF THE BIRRA :
Those who know the secrets of Ale can better tolerate driink combinations and are favored a more robust boost to hitpoints constitution but will often pay the price as being less dexterous and possessing less endurance ,as well as suffering massive stomach pain after an epic event of bilge drinking given the ferment in their digestive system.
C.H.O.P.P.O.R.R.O.N.
The most extended intergalactic brotherhood of barley ferment drinkers is a loose and often divided network of various beings of differing social,geographical and football team cheering extraction.
Though it's extension is vast,it s unity is rather feeble.
º ESPIRITU FERNANDO
When powered by Fernet con Coca they stand a united force of heavy metal partying.
This hive mind aligning network will dissolve after some time and will leave them with temporary muddled perception and faiing coordination rolls.
As compensating this drawback,they suffer practically non of the post-ability displaying negative effects their beer drinking counterparts do and are fully restored after a night(or day)'s rest
FERNET LANTERN CORPS:
Hailing originally from MUZZ_AKn-99PO 90 the corps have established themselves as the patriotic enforcers of aperitive strong drink after an alliance with the local G-A55:eosa chapter.
All effective members possess a small bottle to unleash their power and a lantern made of Branca to recharge it,a faction granted ability of reciting the oath is needed to power the bottle to it's full magic count again.
Aditionally faction members are issued weekly cinzano grenades to aid in battles or compensate power loss
ºCAFFEINE MADNESS:
Although the effects may seem less epic than other schools of self destruction,followers of this path reveal in time horrifying endurance and ability to perform feats of astounding daring and strenght,often resulting in hysteric death.
Stimulation of hearth reate and response gives massive buffs to dexterity rolls and reduces damage or denies many status effects (sleep,charm,holdetc) as well as granting morale boost.
On the passive side,they can resist longer with lack of food and are less affected by lack of rest
The use of abilities will take massive status and health tolls after their effect has faded,and as a result followers of this path are often shortlived,sexually declined and bladder screwed.
One really mad traveling scholar has become famous for combing this skill tree with many elements of the Fernet respective one,discovering an exclusive combination ability known to mortal men simply as the BERSERKOFERNANDER state... (should ony be attempted by really hi level characters as it will often result in perma-death)
ºSecret seekers of Caffeine:
Much like the beer drinking faction,this is not so much an organization but a rather extended set of habits interwined with the everyday events of respective geocultural areas.Rumours abound of small gatherings of individuals and esoteric scholars who will only favor a chosen few in the deeper secrets of caffeine as a crucial ingredient to strange and new self induced poisons,,,,
CONCLUSION:
I WISH THIS GAME EXISTED!!!!
After Progress quest(which by the way does exist so go play it!) this would be the most mindblowing customer satisfying (provided the drinks were real and included in the packages) gaming experience ever!
...
Hey! It's friday and I have to start getting drunk again so I won t realize when new year comes,see ya outside the vile arachnid's matrix of virtual weaves!
Asi que por las dudas...
*FELIZ AÑO NUEVO!!!!*
