So let me start with my thesis regarding MMOs: Drama is everything. Nothing else is more important. Now before you close the page with a grunt-like "heh," let me qualify that statement.
I've played Warcraft for 3 years, most of which was spent in a guild known for "zero drama." Seriously, we fancied ourselves as beacons of humanity in game overwrought with unnecessary crisis. Looking back on it, we were just diluting ourselves. There was plenty of drama to go around, it was just shallowly hidden. People circulated rumors and lies the same as any other guild. Likewise, we also vented, spoke our minds, and made honest complaints. The problem was, the first group and the second group were lumped together in the mind of the GM, and engaging in any of this was grounds for expulsion, and your name being dragged through the mud. Thus, if you had anything disparaging to say, constructive or not, you were forced into the shadows.
Let me say, I wasn't a saint, but I was a justified sinner. I was an officer and I went along with this line of thinking for more than two years. I really only began to question it when the guild's demise was imminent. I took a look at a guild that crumbled once, was rebuilt, and was now crumbling again. I asked myself "why?" Then it hit me, rather than let the drama out where it can be dealt with, we hid it away and let it fester and destroy us from the inside. I came to realize the Greeks had it right from the start, drama is not something to be internalized. You need to let it out, have it out, force it out if need be. Otherwise, the pressure builds, and when it explodes it takes everything with it. Catharsis isn't just a fancy word, its necessary to a social groups health.
If I haven't lost you yet, let me reiterate; I'm not a saint, but I am a justified sinner. I committed a grievous sin against my guild. I committed it twice. The second time, I lost the friendship of people I cared about. I took my philosophy well past its current incarnation, and adopted a "fuck it all" attitude. The worst part is, I had already left the game when I made the decision to commit this sin. And when confronted, rather than acknowledge it, own it, I attacked my accuser and made him think the worst of me. My GM, my friend.
But I was justified in my sin. Why? Because my WoW career was spent wallowing in an atmosphere where everything was off limits. I was convinced of a philosophy I now reject. I was repressed, and I repressed others. And when I snapped, I snapped hard. I became cynical and jaded, and to my detriment, I sinned grievously.
These are the memoirs and confessions of a justified WoW sinner.
